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Member Since: 8/9/2001

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Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Kay i haven't been here in a while only because I have been working and it is really been a big chage for me to manage my household as well as work cook clean and Play mommy, and wife ... anyway ...

for some reason I feel as if i have grown so much the last few months... why? ... I seem to be more open to certain things and definately more social than i was a few months ago...especially when it comes to sharing what i did today with others ... hmm maybe I am finally REALLY learning to let go and do and say what I want instead of what others want... I am just so tired of watching what i say and doing things different because other people want me to .. I am me and if youre not happy with that hey .. to bad i am sorry that you dont always agree with me but thats your problem because I have my own personality just like you have yours and your view on things although completely different from mine is yours and you are 100% allowed to have it ... right?

I just feel like I am finally free to let all of me show! and it feels damn good. I love being able to express my opinion and not really care what you and whoever else is there has to say ... (not pointed at anyone directly) but anyway i just feel like I am okay with u or anyone else not agreeing with me and i am not worried if you get mad that just proves to me that u were never what i thought u were ...

Well now that i am done with that issue lets move to other thing .. work has been great really laid back and not stressful at all , I am enjoying it because i get to catch up on things in my own head its like me time and i am getting paid to have it you cant get better than that ..   i seem to be able to relax more and enjoy my own silly little thoughts that run through my brain .. and i get some silly ones! ha you know what else I am not really afraid to be alone anymore now all my regualr readers know that i am a complete freak about being alone ... I am no longer that freak! I am completely Okay with it .. I mean I get ur average scare here and there but nothing like it used to be .. yay for me I am so glad that i dont have to be afraid to live .. I feel so free all around in general .. and i love it i just want to breathe it in and hold it there forever ...


Friday, December 28, 2001

well heres the new look I am ok with it I may change it but it will do for a while maybe a week or so....if it is too straining on the eyes let me know 

well today was a decent day it went ok I am exhausted I got home from work at 12 am Ughhh!! I forgot to let you guys know if I am not bloggin much or leaving comments that is why I have been working from

 3 -11 30 pm

I am way tired when I get home and half the time the girls are still awake arguing Sometimes I feel like saying I quit!! ( the home thing I mean ) I just get so worn out! and it is like they expect me to be superhuman or something! do I look like I came from Crypton??? awgh don't think so!!!! so what is the friggin deal! Why do I have to get the girls up get them ready ( no problem with that ) my problems begin when I have to :

Make dinner

Clean house

Wash clothes

Get up at 3 am  to make lunch

schedule appts.

remember appts.

pay bills

buy groceries

and work on top of it all!!

Talk about stress! goodness I just  dont know how much more i can carry on my already heavy shoulders * shrugs * oh well...


Thursday, December 27, 2001

well I guess it is time to redecorate I am thinking of skipping New years and going straight for valentines day !! what do you think? Maybe Yeah Maybe No ... *shrugs* well soon see !!! I must get that picture of me in that santa suit off now it is already past christmas!

Well Maybe I ll put me in a diaper and a cupid bow in my hands ... ? heehee


Monday, December 24, 2001

MelzBelz~

Here are some photos of the girls that i had in the pc...

This is Tia being silly.  
This is Ella she is 6

This is Tia again

and Tia again


I will post more of Ella later when I get them uploaded tia's were uploaded cause she had a project at school that required photos

(((Hugs)))

Merry Christmas!


Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Today has been decent so far besides me trying to do laundry, dishes, dinner and housework all vefore 3p.m !!! I am rushing around like a chicken without a head!

Tia had an Upper GI today and a Barium Swallow .. She did great considering the Barium tastes like EXTRA THICK MALOXX (sp?) she was telling these doctors that it was good and she would have another drink when I asked her after the appointment if she liked it she said

Me: "was it good baby"

Tia: "NO mama it was NASTY!! Yuck!!!"

Me: "why did you say it was good then honey" ( i was asking this cause IMHO she looked Nauseated when she was drinking it and BAD!! )

Tia: "cause it was thiers them guys and they said it was good they made it for me "

Me: laughing "did you not like it?"

Tia: "No it was Nasty I didn't want to be mean and I took a drink again mommy they made it for me.. "

she was smiling she said she didn't want to be mean cause it was their drink they made it for her HAHAHAHA!! i feel so bad for her poor honey ... On the bright side of things at least she was polite!



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